Over the weekend of January 27, KARAMAH held a conference on modern Muslim relationships, bringing Muslim men and women from around the region to learn and discuss how they can build strong and healthy relationships guided by their religion.
This conference was unique from many others in that it was divided into two parts: creating an action plan in addition to education. Attendees spent the first day attending lectures on how to find and evaluate potential spouses with insights and guidance from the Islamic tradition and Prophetic model. Dr. Zainab Alwani opened this discussion, speaking on “What Qualities Muslims Should Look for in Spouses”, providing attendees with an overview of the Qur’anic worldview and how that applies to gender relations. After explaining the basic values that underpin all gender relations, Dr. Alwani provided guidance on the qualities Muslims should consider – and those they should not consider – when evaluating a spouse. In the second session, Br. Irfaan Nooruddin spoke about “Meeting Potential Spouses.” During this session, Br. Irfaan talked about new challenges facing Muslims looking to find potential spouses, focusing on the need for understanding and being comfortable with oneself in order to confidently find potential spouses. Finally, Imam Hendi, the Muslim chaplain at Georgetown University, provided guidance on evaluating potential spouses.
The second part of the conference focused on working with participants to identify the most important issues facing the Muslim community with regards to building and maintaining healthy relationships. During this portion of the conference, participants attended break-out sessions during which they had opportunities to discuss ideas put forward by speakers during the lectures and share their insights on the issues addressed at the conference. After fruitful discussion, participants identified what they considered to be the most important issues facing Muslim-Americans today. Among these issues were:
1. Creating social spaces for Muslims to meet each other
2. Giving inordinate weight to superficial factors over other factors (i.e. spiritual compatibility, compassion, generosity, etc.)
3. Mutual understanding of expected roles in the marriage
4. Finding reliable people to suggest potential partners
5. Having quality pre-marital counseling
6. Opening discussions about divorce and breaking down stigmas around divorces
7. Understanding difference between cultural practices and religious practices
8. Discussing forming healthy relationships at a younger age
9. Finding a balance between culture and religion
In the concluding session of the conference, attendees met with KARAMAH staff to discuss what steps each attendee could take to start working towards solutions for the issues they noticed. As a result of this meeting, attendees decided to start a working group – coordinated by KARAMAH – with the goal of bringing attention to these issues at their mosques and holding events that can help build healthy relationships.
KARAMAH is excited about the discussions and actions that have come out of this conference and looks forward to working on this issue in the future. Anyone interested in learning more about future lectures or conferences on this issue, or joining the working group that came out of this conference can contact KARAMAH at ehummel@karamah.org.
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