On October 11th, 2015, KARAMAH held its first event of the “Love Like the Prophet” series 2015. This is the fourth year that KARAMAH holds this series of community events with the aim of addressing domestic violence from an Islamic perspective, promoting discussion within our communities about this issue, and shedding light on resources available to survivors. The first event in the “Love Like the Prophet” series this year was held in collaboration with Make Space and featured Dr. Zainab Alwani and Aisha Rahman, Esq.
Dr. Zainab Alwani started by speaking about the qur’anic model of the family and family relationships and how Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) implemented this model in his own family and society. She also spoke about qur’anic gradualism and the prophetic example in affecting social change which entails good understanding of the customs and culture of the society in which change is to be affected.
Dr. Alwani went on to analyze qur’anic ayahs that underscore the importance of family relationships and establish the foundation of equality among all humans. Ayah 4:1 establishes the foundation of human relationships.
“O humankind! reverence your Guardian-Lord, who created you from a single person, created, of like nature, His mate, and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women;- reverence Allah, through whom ye demand your mutual (rights), and (reverence) the wombs (That bore you): for Allah ever watches over you.” (Qur’an, 4:1)
Dr. Alwani continued explaining the effects of domestic violence in all its forms on our communities. She noted that emotional and verbal abuse is sometimes worse than physical abuse and if every Muslim reads and contemplates ayah 49:11 there should not be any emotional or verbal abuse in our communities.
“O you who believe, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one’s] faith. And whoever does not repent – then it is those who are the wrongdoers.” (Qur’an, 49:11)
Talking about the reason why the Love Like the Prophet” series was started, Ms. Rahman said: “In a world of constant negativity about Islam, we wanted to do an educational series that was positive [we wanted to] change the narrative. So instead of being defensive and talking about how Islam does not condone abuse, let us flip the script—let’s talk about LOVE.”
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) exemplified the Qur’an, as his beloved wife Aisha said and the sirah is replete with examples of love, mercy and tranquility. Reviving these examples would leave no room for domestic violence in our communities.
Ms. Rahman then spoke about the power and control paradigms which the abusers adopt: “Abuse is about power and control. The dynamic between an abuser and his or her victim is not one of equity. It is about asserting one’s false power over another. In fact, we know from Islam that God did not create us this way. He did not create false hierarchies. He did not create patriarchy. He created us, men and women, from the same nafs. “
Ms. Rahman likened the abuser’s false hierarchy to the Iblisi logic. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), through his example, reminded us on more than one occasion of the danger of creating these false hierarchies. One of the most acute dangers of this that we see in our communities today is domestic violence.
“You can’t put a price tag on someone listening genuinely to you when you are going through a difficult time.”
The event concluded with a message from Make Space member Ms. Nancy Mostafa who spoke about the community’s response to domestic violence. Sometimes, community members evade listening to domestic violence survivors not realizing how difficult it must be for the victim to reach outside the family to get help. Ms. Mostafa advised that the best thing one can do is to listen, not be judgmental and refer them to a good resource.
To learn more about the Islamic perspective on domestic violence, watch:
Countering Domestic Violence-Toward a Model of Harmony in Family Relations: A lecture presented by Dr. Zainab Alwani
Domestic Violence: Causes, Challenges & Strategies for the Muslim Community: An interview of Dr. Zainab Alwani with the Institut für Islamische Theologie
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